To the surprise of many people (my family), I’m not a Thanksgiving food addict. Though I do love the three main entrees — turkey, ham, and macaroni and cheese — I hardly touch anything else that’s served. I’m just not interested. And even if I was, I would probably end up crapping myself out by the end of the day. It’s 11:32 PM right now, and I’m about to bust (or my stomach is, so to speak).
I was talking to my cousin’s boyfriend, Michael, today, while stuffing my face with turkey about writing blogs and thinking of what to write or say. And to add to that, to keep up with good grammar and punctuation. Somewhere, later on down the discussion board we got into the topic of the top 5 reasons Thanksgiving is a fun holiday. While thinking of something compelling, I came up with a cheasy idea; an overwrought idea: Five sporting reasons why I love Thanksgiving.
5.) Honest to God, underdogs don’t stand a freakin’ chance. When was the last time we witnessed a dominate team getting their rear ends handed right back to them? Even I can’t remember that one. Green Bay dominated — at one point today, Brett Favre completed 20 passes in a row. Dallas dominated –it’s kind of like mushing up jello with your teeth.. the Cowboys mushed up the Jets. Indianapolis looks good again — Peyton Manning picked apart the hapless Falcons D, making them look like turkeys. Now I love to see underdogs win games, I truly do, but on Thanksgiving it’s inevitable. You can’t sling a dead cat without it splattering a wall, and it’s organs sticking to it writing, “dominant teams FTW.”
4.) The Galloping Gobbler award — isn’t it the coolest award ever? Every time I hear the name, I think of Peyton Manning rambling on about a story about the first time he got drunk. Every year, it’s nearly always given to a quarterback. Every year, a quarterback plays like Joe Montana on steroids. It’s freakin’ nuts, too.
3.) This may only apply to some people, but every Thanksgiving I rush in and change the channel while it’s on some bogus movie. It’s for a good cause. The same dopehead that was watching the movie then refrains himself to act careless about what channel it’s on, but as soon as the game turns into a blowout he starts lamenting expletives under his breath.
2.) The annoying talker. How can you not list this? Any other time you hate the man or woman that won’t shut the hell up when you’re watching or focusing on something else. But in this case, it’s inevitably funny. Maybe it’s the turkey doing its wonders to one’s stomach (or is it just me?), but hearing an idiot blabber about something is one thing — hearing the same idiot blabber on Thanksgiving..now that’s different in its own petty way.
1.) The only excuse to ever watch sports in the presence of family — I respect my family’s wishes to dislike sports. They can hate them all they want. But this (and Christmas) is the only day of the year where they don’t moan about sports being on the television, they actually welcome it. Why? I’m not too sure; maybe it’s because they use the food as leverage to being full, careless and out of control of the situation. But I don’t care — the fact they don’t mind sports being on their television is excellence.